The Quest for the Holy Gourd - Page 2
One night during their journey they noticed an unusual site. It appeared to be a beacon - a man carrying a large pumpkin on his back sitting atop a mysterious dark castle. They took this as a sign that they were close to their goal - either that or it was time to cut down on that liquor that tasted like Big Red chewing gum!The next day they realized that to get to this mystery castle they had to cross a gorge, but the only way across was over a bridge guarded by a rather strange looking man....(another dramatic transition)
He was quite savage looking, and very hairy. As they approached he cried out to the band of noble knights........
"Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Punkin Chunkin into the land of Sussex must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see. "
"What is the name of your Machine?" was his first question.
Team Carbo answered back "Onager"
"What is your Quest?"The hairy man asked.
"To toss the Holy Gourd farther than any other." The brave knights shouted in unison.
"What is the volume, in cubic inches, of an eight pound pumpkin?"
King Bob replied "Would that be an Indian River pumpkin or a White pumpkin?"
"Uh, er, I don't know - AAAGGGHHH!!!"
So much for him! (though there was no all out rejoicing at this point, there was quite a bit of snickering)When they crossed the gorge they were met by a truly hideous site, something they feared, yet very much expected - it was none other than.........(prepare yourself - this is a really big dramatic transition - we're getting close to the climax of the story.)
The dreaded Gene's Beast!!! (can I get some dramatic music here or something)
This monster was renowned for defeating catapults of all shapes and sizes for many years, while consuming mass quantities of beer. This was team Carbo's ultimate test!
Team Carbo remained undaunted - they quaffed another ale, changed their underwear, and prepared themselves for the battle of their lives.
At the sounding of their infamous AH-OO-GAH , they pulled hard on the Onager's release and let their gourd fly. As thousands of onlookers breathlessly watched the pumpkin sail off into the sky....(this is it, the big climax.....try not to be too disappointed!)
The Pumpkin Police suddenly appeared and once again the battle cry could be heard "Run Away!". But Team Carbo shall return - for their quest is not yet fulfilled, and their calling is a holy one! Next year, yeah, that's it, next year you just wait - they'll be back, you'll see........
(I hope your not expecting some really clever credits here or something)
Back to Home Page